The Sun in police custodySure, it has the strange effect of making most people a little cheerier, and making most girls wear a little less, but I’ve never been an advocate of the sun. Okay, so you’ll all be rolling your eyes and putting this down to my old vampiric tendencies, but it’s not that simple. Take this irritating heat we’ve been having. That’s the sun’s fault. You wouldn’t find this in winter.

Actually it’s difficult for me to pick a favourite season. I think it’s probably winter, especially when I’m single. The empty trees and beautiful snow-covered landscapes are great of course, and look so fragile. Sure it’s cold but the cold makes me feel much more alive; it’s sharp and keeps you alert and that little sting of almost-but-not-quite-pain is the perfect reminder that you’re real. And is anything more comforting than stepping out of the freezing cold into a warm house and stripping away the extra layers of clothing. Plus I get to wear more in the winter, which I actually prefer. I miss my trenchcoat, I really do. Of course, the most useful thing about winter is the extra pockets.

Now, if I wasn’t single, perhaps I’d prefer Spring. Not the height of summer, where your clothes become drenched in more liquid than clothing, sticking clammily against your skin so that you literally have to peel them off. Spring lets you spend time lazying around outside without unbearable heat. It throws a little colour back into life. It’s great if you’re with someone, although all that healthy rebirth occassionally feels like nature is just mocking you if you’re not!

My other gripe against the sun is that it makes you sleepy. This week I was in Croydon with a friend, spending a great afternoon lounging around in the park. With the sun bearing down on us, we eventually dozed off. Next thing I know, I’m being woken up by a kindly asian guy who says he saw a women near us and we should check our stuff. Sure enough my phone had disappeared…

Sun = Bad.

The prosecution rests, your honour.