Several days ago a youth walked into a service station and, after a verbal fight broke out between the cashier and a third man, he released an unlicenced illegal argument so refined that only three labs in the world are capable of producing such potent and concentrated vocabulary. Its use is strictly prohibited in public as there is no known comeback. Earlier in the week police released this photograph of the suspect, taken by a CCTV camera shortly after the alleged event. However a recent court order requires that the identity of the man in question be concealed for his own protection as it is believed a bounty has been placed on head by several underworld leaders who wish to procure the illegal argument. Personally, I just hope that my upcoming interview in London won’t be prejudiced by the fact I now look like an extra from Prison Break.
With apologies to any readers who happen to be rehabilitating ex-cons, or indeed still incarcerated, this look is not exactly the first impression I’m going for. I’m not a shallow guy, but dammit I liked my hair. Gelled and spiked, it became something of a trademark, much as everyone loved to complain about its alternate use as deadly weapon/cheese grater. Now I can’t even put gel in it. Yes, you heard right. While it would be incorrect to describe my hair’s current state as “soft”, you certainly aren’t going to scratch anything with it. If I am forced to find a bright side, at least it’s still black.
3 April 2006 at 12:46 am
..so that’s how you intended to let the Downing mathmos remember how many sides to a dodecagon 😮
3 April 2006 at 1:15 am
What have you done?
Have they caught up with you at last?
So, I looked in my spam folder at the ~75 spam mails I recieved today, and the one entitiled ‘Need meds, all here’ seemed most appropiate.
I opened it in a sandbox. Based on this email the only meds that are needed in life are Viagra, Cialis, Levitra or a coctail thereof. I don’t think these would have much affect on your hair (though I confess to never having heard of ‘Levitra’), so I think it’s safe to deduce that the spammers have decided that medicine is not necessary. Surely the word of a l33t $pam l0rd is enough for anyone?
(Ironically, the email was sent to the address that I use to discuss artifical intelligence projects(!))
Well, if you can understand this convoluted ramble, you’re doing better than me.
3 April 2006 at 3:10 am
Ad, doesn’t a dodecagon have twelve sides? :-??
3 April 2006 at 10:02 am
How does that conflict with his comment? Can’t you see the 12 edges??? :d
3 April 2006 at 12:08 pm
Ohh, I thought he was referring to “ha1r l0ss”… :-“
3 April 2006 at 12:49 pm
lol – thanks kirsten.. couldn’t have put it better myself 🙂
*wonders if a “Donations needed for priyan’s wig” group would be appropriate*
At least it happened during the hols I guess..
3 April 2006 at 4:15 pm
Dude…I was going to cut my hair off and give it to cancer patients, but after seeing that picture, well…you can have it.
It’s not black, but you can dye it.
Seriously. I’ll gladly donate to the Save The Priyan’s Head Foundation.