With a typically pathetic British response to snowfall, Heathrow’s closure means my flight to the States to join my family has been cancelled. Unsurprisingly flights are fully booked and the earliest slot they could find is on the 25th. On the plus side, that means my Christmas Day will be six hours longer than everyone else’s. On the down side, pretty much everything else. It’s not exactly a great day to spend travelling alone but I’d still much rather travel that day and see everyone sooner. Three hours of Christmas is better than zero, after all. In the meantime might I suggest Heathrow removes the incendiary “making every journey better” tagline from its website?
I suddenly find myself with a great deal of free time and in need of distractions to stay upbeat. Currently I’m compiling a list of creative alternative methods to reach the States. Please do suggest your own. Thanks to Maurita for inspiring the first and third.
- Steal a Duck Tours amphibious bus
- Tunnelling (no SSH puns, please)
- Use Channel Tunnel boring machine to start tsunami, ride it in
- Go UP. Admittedly, this would require taking the entire block of flats with me but who doesn’t want an airborne adventure?
- Surfing / Silver Surfing
- Contact Oans / Guardians of the Universe, borrow power ring
- Terragate. Like a Stargate, only not interstellar.
- Acquire Child’s Play Portal Gun. Will require shipping portal gun to the US to create exit portal.
- Spontaneous Combustion. Look, it works for the Human Torch and I’ll give anything a try. Flame On!
- Build wings from wax and feathers. Take care not to fly too close to the sun. Forget to worry about wings freezing. Fall.