Reeltime posts are not regular reviews but real-time commentary posted whilst watching the film. You can follow live or read the archived post at the end.

|[P]| 30 September 201711:06 am

Reeltime Harry Potter continues with Year 6 on 30 September 2017 at 8pm BST.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:02 pm

Welcome back for Year 6 everyone. Running about 1 minute behind for those watching along.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:03 pm
A cold open. That’s new.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:04 pm
Although with a title few seconds later it hardly seems worth it.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:05 pm
Continuing with the darker tone, our colour palette seems to have dropped to Gears of War greys and browns.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:06 pm
Is this an alternate universe where we never fixed the resonance issues with the Millennium Bridge?

|[P]| 30 September 20178:07 pm
“Divine Magic”. Like Dumbledore doesn’t have enough of a god complex already…

|[P]| 30 September 20178:09 pm
Ah yes, the taste test. Obviously that’s what one does when blood drips on you.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:12 pm
What’s this?! A Hogwarts teacher who genuinely cares about his students? No wonder he’s in hiding.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:16 pm
So we’re supposed to take Ginny more seriously this year. Is love in the air?

|[P]| 30 September 20178:18 pm
“This is Hogwarts we’re talking about. It’s Dumbledore. What could be safer?” Literally anything. You guys do remember the last five years, right?

|[P]| 30 September 20178:20 pm
Snape is keeping considerably worse company.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:21 pm
What on earth has he just sworn to do? This can’t be good.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:22 pm
Subtle transition to a shopping trip.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:24 pm

“Draco and mummy” taking traditional early Suspicious-Looking Lucius role.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:25 pm
Ginger and stealth evidently don’t mix.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:26 pm
Luna’s back! Does she get a proper role or is this just a holdover from last year?

|[P]| 30 September 20178:26 pm
This seems to be a much longer, more involved journey than before.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:29 pm
“Hogwarts. What a pathetic excuse for a school.” I don’t disagree though probably for very different reasons than Draco. It’s still not passing Ofsted any time soon.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:30 pm
Is someone on LSD? Oh no, just on being Luna.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:31 pm

So the great Boy Wizard barely even made it off the train this year.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:34 pm

Incidentally, readers have been sending me a lot of Harry Potter-related stuff. This one from Nick certainly fits my view.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:34 pm

|[P]| 30 September 20178:37 pm
Is this class required under the curriculum or not?! I still don’t get how lesson choices work, but one would expect students to know by the day of their first lesson…

|[P]| 30 September 20178:38 pm
“Living Death” is on page 10 of their textbook? What on earth comes at the end?!

|[P]| 30 September 20178:39 pm
Interesting. Harry does have a great record with books from former students.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:41 pm
Harry’s won one free re-roll. Luck is his most important trait after all…

|[P]| 30 September 20178:41 pm
This is the weirdest shrine I’ve seen.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:44 pm
Oh wow, young Dumbledore is still way older than Tom. I’d kind of assumed he and Voldemort were contemporaries, given his power and everyone’s fear of him.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:46 pm

An invisible shell around the Hogwarts. They’ve finally beefed up security around the school in a way that doesn’t involved mixing Dementors and students.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:48 pm
You’re still not a leader, Harry. Just let Ginny take the reins.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:49 pm
I assume this is representative of everyone’s interest in Quidditch by this point, right?

|[P]| 30 September 20178:50 pm
Hermione’s soulful looks notwithstanding.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:51 pm
“The binding is fragile.” Worst possible excuse.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:53 pm
Well if they’re having Butterbeer, don’t mind if I do. Flat Tire IPA for those drinking along at home.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:54 pm
“They’re just holding hands… and snogging.” Awkward.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:54 pm
Got milk? What is it with Hermione smearing white stuff around her mouth in front of Ron…

|[P]| 30 September 20178:58 pm
“I just know.” Terribly convincing, Harry. Maybe follow it up with a, “Don’t you know who I am?” That always wins people over.

|[P]| 30 September 20178:59 pm
What could be more normal than two boys in bed talking about girls’ skin? Are they taking Serial Killer 101?

|[P]| 30 September 20179:00 pm

“I’m just saying it could be a contributing factor.” Wow, this teenage dialogue is incredibly realistic.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:01 pm
Wizards don’t know whether (muggle) dentistry is a dangerous profession?!

|[P]| 30 September 20179:03 pm
“Did Voldemort make the shelf?” I like the directness if you want to make him uncomfortable but this isn’t exactly the way to gather information, Harry.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:04 pm
Okay, Luna might actually be straight up my favourite character.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:05 pm

I’m assuming Harry didn’t just drug Ron and he only claimed to have put Liquid Luck in there to boost his confidence on the pitch?

|[P]| 30 September 20179:07 pm Ron, let’s be smart about this. More Hermione, less groupies.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:07 pm
Called it.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:10 pm
I love this tender scene. But Hermione doesn’t win any points for passively not saying how she feels even if Ron is being an idiot.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:11 pm
“She’s only interested in you because she thinks your the Chosen One.”
“But I am the Chosen One.”

|[P]| 30 September 20179:12 pm

|[P]| 30 September 20179:12 pm
Snow White… hair.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:15 pm
Why does Malfoy want to gatecrash this party anyway?

|[P]| 30 September 20179:16 pm
“It’s just, you can’t break an unbreakable vow.” Ron’s smarter than people give him credit for.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:17 pm

Oh, you can break an unbreakable vow. You just die.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:18 pm
Aww, daddy Weasley beating a diplomatic retreat to leave the lovebirds alone.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:19 pm
No such respect from Ron.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:21 pm
These two are sweet. I wish we got to see more of their relationship.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:24 pm
Poor Weasleys.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:25 pm
“I need to go and vomit.” So do we all, Hermione.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:27 pm
Wait, Dumbledore is collecting other people’s memories? This suddenly took an extremely fascist turn.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:28 pm

Much as I may be curious about what Tom was exploring.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:29 pm
Oh yes, just quote Tom verbatim. Master of subtlety as always, Potter.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:31 pm
You’re about to learn a lesson about why you don’t take sweets from strangers, Ron…

|[P]| 30 September 20179:32 pm
Ron accidentally saving the day. By being greedy. His superpower.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:33 pm
It’s tracheotomy time…

|[P]| 30 September 20179:36 pm
McGonagall is seriously surprised that student intervention was required because a teacher couldn’t keep children safe? She must be used to it by now.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:37 pm
“Oh to be young and feel love’s keen sting.” Sarky Dumbledore doesn’t have time for this.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:40 pm
Hermione is clearly enjoying this. But, by still refusing to say anything, I’m losing sympathy again.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:42 pm
I’ve been struggling to work out why Katie Bell looks familiar. She was one of the kids in The Basil Brush Show!

|[P]| 30 September 20179:45 pm
Was that bird just more Room of Requirement romantic meddling like Cho last year?

|[P]| 30 September 20179:46 pm
I guess that would be a yes. Now, how come it hasn’t intervened with Ron and Hermione? Is it because the Room secretly ships Harry and Hermione like everyone else?

|[P]| 30 September 20179:47 pm
Harry forgot he had a luck potion? The most powerful thing he’s been given this year.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:48 pm
Purely medicinal, of course.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:50 pm
“A dead one.” Keen eye there Harry. All it takes is a luck potion for him to deliver this kind of keen observation.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:51 pm
Oh good, deadly venomous poisons are obviously what have missing from Hogwarts.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:52 pm
Why is lucky Harry an idiot? Is that actually a requirement for luck? I mean, that does make a lot of sense actually.

|[P]| 30 September 20179:55 pm
Why is Harry suddenly super confident that he is the Chosen One. I get that he fits the prophecy but why is he not even questioning it?

|[P]| 30 September 20179:56 pm
Ooh, we’re going to find out about Horcruxes!

|[P]| 30 September 20179:58 pm

“Killing rips the soul apart.” Fine.
“It’s a violation against nature.” Wait, what? Because nature abhors killing? It’s not like most of the food chain does it…

|[P]| 30 September 20179:59 pm

Did Tom pick seven at random? If he has no issue with killing, surely the more the merrier?

|[P]| 30 September 201710:00 pm
This time round Severus is the only one willing to call out Dumbledore for using people.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:02 pm
“Being me has its privileges.” Being a dick, you mean?

|[P]| 30 September 201710:05 pm

Trying to work out whether he looks more like Saruman or Gandalf standing at the top of his tower.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:06 pm

So now it’s Harry Potter and the Horcrux Collection Orienteering? Are we just forgetting about the Half-Blood Prince?

|[P]| 30 September 201710:07 pm
Drink me?

|[P]| 30 September 201710:10 pm
Yeah, just grab the Horcrux. It’s not like anything bad happened last time someone did that.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:11 pm
Once again wizards seem incapable of understanding that there are multiple kinds of vessels that will hold liquids. Not just Goblets and conveniently placed shells.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:12 pm
Are they getting swarmed by Gollums?

|[P]| 30 September 201710:14 pm
And now Dumbledore is going all bad-ass Gandalf. I know LOTR was done by this point, but still…

|[P]| 30 September 201710:19 pm
I’d feel sorry for Draco if it weren’t for… no, I just don’t. I’ve not seen any redeeming features beyond this half-arsed whimpering.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:20 pm
Well this is problematic. To save Draco(‘s soul), Snape is going to have to kill Dumbledore himself, isn’t he? Is this part of the plan?

|[P]| 30 September 201710:22 pm
“I’m the half-blood prince.” Sorry, what? That’s not an explanation of anything.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:23 pm

Snape is clearly not fighting back against Harry. Was killing Dumbledore necessary to get in with the Death Eaters and take down Voldemort?

|[P]| 30 September 201710:26 pm

Kind of a weird ending after a murdered headmaster.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:28 pm

So a lot to break down there that all seemed to be rather unnecessarily stuffed into the end. I was really into the interpersonal relationships for once, but they mostly felt overtaken by the need to move the plot forward, despite there being very little of actual importance until the final act.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:31 pm

Dumbledore’s death actually came earlier than I’d thought – though I suppose this was the penultimate book even if was the third film from the end. My sympathy for Snape is slightly reserved pending finding out whether everyone was in on his plan to get in with the Malfoys and effectively write a blank cheque with that unbreakable vow.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:33 pm

Given that Dumbledore continued to manipulate people and willingly put them in harm’s way right up to the end (albeit at least acknowledging it eventually), I still don’t get why fans love him so much. Other than conditioning since he’s an Old White Man.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:34 pm

And I really don’t get the titular part of the plot. Harry using Snape’s old textbook was the entirety of that plotline?! No explanation of what on earth “half-blood prince” even means? Is this just more trouble with condensing the longer books?

|[P]| 30 September 201710:38 pm

If so, I guess it’s a good thing the last book has been cut in two. Presumably one film of Horcrux Collection and one of The Final Battle. We’re only at two so far, right? Given that the Death Eaters seem so freely able enter Hogwarts at the end (I’m taking back what I said about beefed up security, incidentally) did they take back the other two?

|[P]| 30 September 201710:41 pm

Oh, and before I wrap up, a quick shout out to Xena Zeit-Geist, whom I met in New Orleans last month. She’s just put on a Potter-themed burlesque play called Harry Potter and the Bedchamber of Secrets. Check out that rhinestoned tie! I suspect that show will be back, but if you find yourself in New Orleans and consider yourself a something of a geek (i.e. if you’re reading this) then do check out her weekly burlesque show Talk Nerdy To Me at The Dragon’s Den.

|[P]| 30 September 201710:42 pm

And with that, I’ll see you next time as we move on to the final year.